Picture: Train Smoke by Edvard Munch
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Suddenly, you find yourself sitting in a train car, and you see many things through the dusty screen. How on earth did you get there?
This question pulls you irresistibly back outside; the train has disappeared, and you may see the sun shining.
The next moment you’re on another train car, and everybody is talking about the weather: “How beautiful is it with the sun shining?” “Oh, the light is too strong!” “I remember once, when I was in France, such a lovely day, the sun…” “What are the symbolic meanings of a clear blue sky? According to the ancient…” “It reminds of…” “One day…”
Bothered by the constant chatter, you start running through the clanking wagons, and – even in the toilet! – you find people talking. It’s literally driving you mad. Wagon after wagon, it becomes noisier and noisier; the windows are, somehow, dustier. You leap through the crowded corridor; they don’t even notice you: all they do is talk. Finally, you find a quiet car, near the locomotive. There’s a young woman there by herself. She’s talking to herself – you doubt whether most people on that crazy train are actually talking to themselves. But the girl stands up when she sees you, she bows to you, points her finger at the sun outside the window, and whispers:
“Oh, beautiful, but… maybe I’m thinking too much about it… Maybe I’m kinda… missing it. Maybe I am missing… the real thing?”
In the wink of an eye, you’re outside, in the midst of the moorland, and you behold the sun-stroke heavens with all your being, as if you were built with the same substance as it. This time, you have a sort of knowing that you can get off that train anytime you like. You also know that you can watch the trains passing from a distance – look at them rolling! – you don’t need to jump up. Even if they look delicate, with golden framework, red maple walls, handsome men, and gorgeous women luring you in with their words. Yes, you can choose to get up, take a look, enjoy someone’s company, have a drink, have a juicy chat about the old days, or fantasize about your plans. Trains take you places, that is admittedly true, and they are helpful – to a certain extent. Yet you know, simply and clearly, that the beauty of the scenery is incomparable from the outside. Outside, there is no such thing as comparison. There’s only silence and tranquillity. You’re right where you need to be. No past, no future: only now.
Take a deep breath and get off the train of thought – any time you like.
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Herons